April 4th, 2006

scout

Surreal Moment

Earlier today, I was at the Dr.'s office.  It was actually my 7th encounter in 3 weeks with medical personnel in some form or another.  Not all of those encounters were for the same reason, but the majority of the visits were all related to a little scare I had.  Needless to say, it has been a very tiring, emotional, anxiety-ridden few weeks.  So today, the day of verdict so to speak, I went to what I thought would be the beginning of a long road.  It was a lab setting, a very large operation.  The people at the office sent me to a room to get into a lovely blue paper gown, and then told me to have a seat in a waiting area.  The waiting area was filled with sad-looking women in blue paper gowns.  I know it's a sick thought, but just for a moment, I felt like I was waiting in line for the showers at the concentration camps.  It just had such a sterile, factory sense about it, with an added feeling of doom hanging overhead.  I know it's no comparison, but it really felt ominous.  Fortunately, it turned out to be my last appointment, hopefully for a while.  The very good news is that the diagnosis proved to be negative and it was determined today (by 2 different doctors and 3 different tests) that my initial results were a false positive.  I feel much better, very relieved.  The rest of the story is really mostly unimportant... But the eerie part of the story was when I was leaving the last office, the music playing on the sound system was the soundtrack for "Schindler's List", I kid you not!  Creepy!  I feel blessed to be one of the survivors.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved